Elephants create marshmallows

To those who say that government creates jobs, I say, sure, in the sense that elephants create marshmallows. So there's this elephant and he has gotten it into his fermented-banana-fried brain that marshmallows are evil. And he finds a factory that makes marshmallows. And, being an elephant, he starts stomping on the factory, driving away the workers, destroying the marshmallow-making equipment. Then, halfway through, he changes his mind and goes looking for something else to stomp on. And a bunch of Kos kids run up to him and bow down, crying and chanting, "Thank you, Mr. Elephant! You have made it possible to create millions of marshmallows! Thank you for not completely destroying the factory!"
So, yes, in that sense government can create jobs.

Do you really care?

What is the main producer of carbon dioxide - the poison that will make the Earth into Mercury by next Tuesday? The hydrocarbon combustion engine, of course, pushed tyrannically and cynically by the oil companies. So in the supermarket one should look around and see what is being transported more by oil and what less and buy the less-transported. Right? One immediate obvious villain is water from the Fiji Islands. People spend megabucks to have water put in bottles ten thousand miles away and shipped all the way to your local market when they have pure water coming out of their faucets at home and water fountains at work and school. How Gaia shrieks! Why are there no pickets with photos of dead baby seals in the bottled water aisle?

Of course, almost all liquids sold as food contain water. Take milk, for instance, which supermarkets pump out in vast quantities in liquid form. The distance it is transported varies, depending on if the supermarket is surrounded by a dairy farm or not. But right there in the spices aisle is another product that contains no water at all. You take it home, put it in a bottle and fill the bottle with water and shake. Voila! Milk! And no water has been transported anywhere except out of your faucet. Think how the polar bears will love you. Juice is another product which offers tremendous carbon reduction value. Buying juice in liquid form should be a crime, because it is a crime against the Earth. How much diesel fuel is pumped into the air to bring bottles of orange juice from the Indian River to you? Even "reconstituted" juice is transported. But the "real, whole, undiluted, pure" juice should, nay, indeed, must be banned immediately lest we turn into glowing red sparks in a desert wasteland. Frozen concentrated juice is not quite so carbon-expensive, but we can do better, if we really care. In the beverage aisle, you will find little packets of fruit flavor, which weigh almost nothing and produce, when mixed with a little sugar and a half-gallon of untransported water, many drinks. And if you haven't tried Kool-Aid lately, I guarantee you will be surprised at the improvement in the flavor. I mean, if you're not willing to make that small sacrifice to take trucks off the road, what credibility is left to you in urging others to stop driving their gas-mobiles?

Fruits and vegetables also waste enormous amounts of transport energy if bought whole and "fresh". Compare the carbon cost of ten or more fresh tomatoes with that of a can of tomato paste, which gives almost the same tomato flavor. Aren't you ashamed of buying real fruits and vegetables? What do you think, you deserve luscious fresh produce and the penguins can just dry up and blow away? I'm sure, if they weren't bribed by the oil companies our chemists could produce a crystalline powder, that, when mixed with your water, would produce tomato paste analog, at an even greater carbon savings.

And that brings up the whole idea of refrigerating or freezing food. What a waste! Think how much electricity is wasted on those foods that have already cost mega-carbon being transported around the world. What is in your fridge that you couldn't get out of a can, anyway? Or reconstitute from a powder? Nothing! You'll just have to buy a cow for fresh milk and have fresh tomatoes once a year for a couple of weeks and real orange juice when you take a (walking, of course) vacation to Florida. You do care, don't you?

Just beginning

This war is just starting to get interesting. Until everyone's against it, there's really no reason to be for it. You'll just be one of a crowd. But now, when everyone's saying it can't possibly work, why that's the time to get into the details and figure out what's going on and what startling results could occur if things don't go as expected. And, of course, they never go as expected. That's why I can't believe these global warming buffoons. They're tying their whole view of the world to their ability to predict - wait for it - the WEATHER!! And not just next week, but a hundred years from now! Who could imagine anything so stupid could gain a mass following? Oh, sure, Spengler, but he must be the Antichrist. Me, I will decline the opportunity to be wrong about the weather. It's too easy.

Did you dance for rain?

So everyone is dancing for rain today, even though it was sprinkling most of the day here in Tallahassee. I didn't bother to dance. But I thought of another metaphor for voting. It's sort of like buying a lottery ticket, and thinking your purchase is going to affect the outcome of the lottery. Or buying a ticket on a horse and thinking you've made a difference in how the horse runs. The difference between voting and buying a lottery ticket is that your chance of winning anything - unless you're actually running for office - is vanishingly small. Hmm. Actually that's also true of buying a lottery ticket. But there at least you've got a hundred-to-one or so chance of getting a free ticket or five bucks. So if voting gets you nothing, why do so many people do it, why do all these idiots insist that everyone has a "duty" to vote?
I guess idiocy loves company. It's like the emperor's new clothes. If anyone admitted the true state of affairs, that, no, an individual vote doesn't do anything except gain you the transitory approbation of your fellows, the system would collapse. Of course further analysis reveals that not only does an individual vote not count for anything, even if it did, it wouldn't matter at all which candidate won in most times, most situations. And buying into the voting myth cements the officeholders in power, the last thing most people really want. But it is a spectacle.

Islamic analysis

Rants and Raves has a sharp and interesting essay on Arabs and tribalism and what he found out by living in Saudi for a year. A sample:

1) They don’t think the same way we do.

No, I mean THEY REALLY DON'T THINK THE SAME WAY WE DO.
***
3) Their values are fundamentally different from ours, their self-esteem is derived from a different source.

And you know what? Theirs is PHONY.

So I just had to comment, based on observing my sister's attitude after living among Muslims for almost ten years now and my own observations from a mere ten days, but an interesting ten days, in Egypt:

Excellent. The amazing thing is that so many Westerners can live among Arabs for years and fail to grasp the obvious facts you lay out.

I gleaned an interesting factoid from Spengler's The Decline of the West: the rise of Islamic civilization was largely traceable to the role of Jews, who were especially important in Moorish Spain. Arabs were as dependent on Jews then as they are on Westerners now. I believe many educated Arabs realize this and know that when they kicked all the Jews out of Arab lands, who then mostly went to Israel, they doomed themselves to social and cultural primitivism. This despair makes a peaceful resolution of the Palestinian problem impossible.

Analogy?

Thinking of the idiocy that is global warming theory, I was reminded of another collectivist delusion. Communists and fascists have long thought that a government can run an economy more efficiently than the free market. All it takes is massive amounts of computing power and the right theory, which they figured was handed to them by Marx or Hitler or Mussolini. How complex could it be? And for decades, seven in the case of Russian Communism, economies were massively screwed up, with hardly enough money produced for military needs. North Korea today is the poster child for the success of central economic planning.
Apparently collectivists cannot let go of their obsession with central planning. After losing on the economy, costing many millions of lives, they've turned their attention to the weather. Just put enough computers together with really smart people and not only can we come up with a theory that will convince people that the earth is in danger, but we can show them how to save the planet by simply turning their economic prosperity over to the weatherman computer geek. Right, the same computer geek who can't tell you within a thousand years when the local volcano is going to erupt next. And the same one who can't tell you within five degrees what the temperature will be five days from now.

Help with smoking

I need some help with my smoking. I never smoked tobacco when I was younger. I'm 58 now and I think it would be appropriate to my dignity to start smoking a pipe. My father smoked one and I have often remarked on the attractive fragrance of pipe tobacco. I bought myself a pipe and some tobacco and tried it out. Twice so far. The second time I felt a bit sick and disoriented. I still want to smoke, though and don't want to fail at this endeavor. I don't seem to be able to get myself to keep at it long enough to make it a habit. Sort of like playing my violin. I wonder if there's some easy way to get started. I aspire to the Sherlock Holmesian state of heightened mental functioning, which he attributed in part to smoking shag tobacco. Maybe I need a deerstalker cap. Hey, and he played the violin, too!

What he said

From the Ayn Rand Institute website (hat tip to Diana Hsieh):

It is often said that we must win the "hearts and minds" of supporters of totalitarian Islam. Indeed we must: their hearts must be made to despair at the futility of their cause, and their minds must be convinced that any threat to our lives and freedom will bring them swift and certain doom.

Amen, brother. Amen.

Discovery

I am impressed by this Adamant guy. I just can't see why he has so few commenters when idiots like Kos and Andrew Sullivan have hundreds. You don't think that's because most people are idiots, do you???

Here's a sample of Adamant:

Al Qaeda cadres and Islamist Kashmiri separatists can readily lose themselves among the flux of refugees in a region famed for discreet hospitality. It cannot have escaped Osama Bin Laden's attention that in the 19th century the Aga Khan spent tranquil years in Hunza while internecine war made him a hunted man elsewhere in the Islamic world.

Lots of stuff you won't see anywhere else.

John Buchan, Greenmantle:

As I follow events, there's a skunk been let loose in the world, and the odour of it is going to make life none too sweet till it is cleared away. It wasn't us that stirred up that skunk, but we've got to take a hand in disinfecting the planet.

Plus ca change, eh? And at that particular time British troops were having a hot time in Basra and the Persian Moslems were stirring up trouble.

As I continue to read Oswald Spengler's "Decline of the West", I get a clearer and clearer picture of just what Islam is and how it works. This is useful in an era when, as related by Victor Davis Hanson at RealClearPolitics:

Islamic fascism is also anti-democratic and characteristically reactionary. It conjures up a past of Islamic influence that existed before the supposed corruption of modernism. Like Hitler, Mussolini and Tojo, who sought to recapture lost mythical Aryan, Roman or samurai purity, so Islamic fascists talk in romantic terms of the ancient caliphate.

many are reluctant to call Islamists "fascists" because, after all, they're just like us. Well, they're not just like us. Their thinking is completely different from that of men reared in the Western tradition. To use concepts borrowed from Julian Jaynes' "The Emergence of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind", the Islamic consciousness does not recognize individuality at all. For instance, for Muslims there is no such concept as the separation of church and state. It isn't considered and rejected. It just isn't imagined. Anyone who mentions it must be mad or evil or both. The words of the Koran (which word itself, Spengler relates, means "reading") are not just a historical account or a series of exhortations. They are the stuff of life, or, as we might perhaps say, the fabric of space/time.

Rate your spam


Certainly spam can be mocked and hated, but why not get a little more analytical about it? There's well-done, technically and artistically proficient spam - that almost, very nearly gets you to open it - and there's terrible, loser spam. I say tackle some of the boredom of wading through sixteen spam messages when you sit down to the computer and rate them on a scale of 1 to 10, or ! to !), if you want to be consistent. I mean, Mrs. Suha Arafat sat there typing for hours to get the information to you that she has six billion dollars that she desperately needs to transfer into your bank account and all you have to do is come up with your numbers. You could at least be grateful and appreciate her grammar, spelling and diction.

It's interesting to consider the art of misspelling spam messages just enough to get past the spam filter but not so grotesquely that the message doesn't get through. There's a PH.D. thesis there for some semiologist or semioticist or linguistician of some stripe. I mean, who would have thought years ago that everyone in the world who spoke English would have known immediately what the string "e*&^$#e your p(*@!s!" meant? It could mean "enrage your pyjamas" if it had a slightly different character count.

If you didn't dance, you can't complain

Today is Primary Election Day in Tallahassee and everyone is going around wearing those self-righteous "I voted" stickers. I've been searching for a metaphor to explain the voting phenomenon. And finally it came to me. It's like a rain dance. Your village is having a drought and everyone gets together and someone says,
"I have an idea! Let's do a rain dance! That will propitiate the gods and bring rain. But only if everyone participates!"
So everyone runs around strong-arming everyone else into doing the rain dance. But when they come to you, you assert your independence and say, "I don't think rain dancing will bring rain, so I won't dance."
They all dance and wear little stickers afterward, saying "I danced for rain".
Now one of two things will happen, although it won't matter to you, because they'll probably kill you for not dancing. It will rain or it won't. If you do survive, and it rains, everyone will mock you and say, "Since you didn't dance, you can't share in the benefits of the rain." If it doesn't rain, they'll be even more likely to kill you, but if they let you live, they might well say something like,
"Since you didn't dance, you can't complain about there not being any rain."
So that's how much sense voting makes. It won't do you any good to explain calmly that not only do rain dances not bring rain, but that, even if they did, your single non-participation in a rain dance would hardly be crucial to the success of a rain dance that had any pizzazz to it at all. I guess I should be glad that society has progressed from rain dances to voting. You don't get killed for not voting. Yet.

Rare Headlines

In the category of headlines you don't see very often, from Fox:

Balloon Fire Kills Circus Clown

Continuing the Eastern Europe theme from the last post, the doomed clown (I know it's heartless to say so, but that's still funny!) was from Belarus.

Cossacks and Tartars and Poles, Oh, My!
I just finished reading Henryk Sienkiewicz's "With Fire and Sword", a mind-bending 1100 pages of fury and passion in the steppes of the Ukraine and Poland. Well, OK, today you've got Belarus and maybe a bit of Moldava in there as well. But I was swept away by the narrative. And there are two more volumes to go! It has pre-echoes of The Lord of the Rings, even Star Wars. It perhaps owes a bit to Gogol's Taras Bulba, but outdoes it by a mile. As a commenter says on another Sienkiewicz work:

This man constructs plots like Alexander Dumas and ranks with Tolstoy's greatest novels for sheer scope.

I like him better than Tolstoy because he is more unapologetically masculine and consumed with notions of honor that are only shamefacedly acknowledged in order to be criticized these days.

I inserted a "meme" I've never seen anywhere else on a backtalk post that opined thusly:

...the only real question is this: what approach would you favor if you became convinced that Iran's actual plan was to develop a nuclear bomb no matter what they verbally agree to do in response to UN demands and no matter what the cost might be in terms of economic sanctions?

What then?

Here's the comment:

If Iran gets the bomb, why not let it slip that the Iraqi government has also been given access to nukes, to establish the same kind of balance of power that has kept the Indian and Pakistani governments from using their nuclear devices against each other? Iraq and Iran are the only two countries in the world that have fought each other in a war with over a million casualties since World War II.

The immediate response would be that we can't trust the Iraqi government to do the right thing, that giving access to a nuclear bomb to Shi'ites and Sunnis is nothing short of suicide. But those critics will have to explain why we're giving Muslims billions of dollars for all kinds of other weapons. Any Iraqi politician who would stand up to Iran, brandishing a nuke, would win over all the various sects within Iraq and gain enormous standing in the Arab world as their savior against the Persians. To say the least, it would change the political calculus.

Comment on Jihadwatch

Radical, infidel-butchering Islam is as powerful an ideology in large parts of the Islamic world today as Nazism was in the early twentieth century in Germany. So it will take as much death and violence, proportionate to population, to extirpate radical Islam from the Islamic world as it did to root out Nazism from Germany. And if that job is not done, we can expect the same results as if Nazism had not been excised from Germany. Not a nice prospect, but where has my reasoning gone wrong?

Name-dropper extraordinaire

Just finished reading The World of Yesterday by Stefan Zweig. What a wonderful book! It starts before the turn of the twentieth century and ends with Zweig's suicide in Brazil during World War II.

I love you, Caroline Glick!

This splendid piece in the Jerusalem Post is delivered by a splendid young woman who may be the last real man left in Israel:

Diplomatically, in the space of five weeks the government managed to undermine Israel's alliance with America; to hand Syria, Hizbullah and Iran the greatest diplomatic achievements they have ever experienced; and to flush down the toilet the unprecedented international support that US President Bush handed to Israel on a silver platter at the G-8 summit.

*****************
The job of the foreign minister is to defend Israel and advance Israel's national interests to foreigners, not to be their friend.

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Because of the Olmert government's failures, ever greater battles await us. As the dangers mount by the hour, we must replace this misbegotten government with one that can defend us.

I don't really have to tell you to read the whole thing, do I?

Government, Lebanese-style

Let it never be said I lack for ideas. I didn't say good ideas, but:

Israel needs to proclaim that they recognize Hezbollah as the only legitimate government of Lebanon and Nasrallah as the head of government and then transfer the state of war to Nasrallah's regime. Then they would be free to attack and destroy the Lebanese army and Hezbollah, wherever they can be found within Lebanon and force Hezbollah to surrender.

Alternatively, they can recognize Syria as the de facto government of Lebanon, with borders containing what is now Lebanon and the capital at Damascus. Then a notice can be sent to Damascus that any aggression toward Israel from Syrian territory will be punished by an immediate attack on Damascus.

This was in response to a post on Pejman's Chequerboard, called "Why Should The Lebanese Government Be Strengthened?" linking to a New York Times story about Hezbollah's role in the reconstruction of Lebanon that they caused to be destroyed. What a bunch of guys! How good is that? Reminds me of that line in Back to the Future where the bully Buzz or Fuzz or whatever his name is (Biff - ed.) wrecks Marty McFly's father's car and then upbraids the wimpish dad thusly: "I have your car towed all the way back to your house and all you've got for me is light beer!@?"